Shop More Submit  Join Login
About Literature / Hobbyist Member Anna CefiroCanada Recent Activity
Deviant for 6 Years
Needs Premium Membership
Statistics 420 Deviations 11,737 Comments 8,691 Pageviews

Newest Deviations

Favourites

Activity


Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: ideologically sensitive material)
Nothing I Can Do About It


Most people that look at us don’t realize that not only are we siblings, but we’re twins.

Yes, twins. He’s everything that I really am not…

Tall.

Gorgeous.

Talented.

Amazing with both genders.

I’m short, awkward, I have too much junk in my trunk and far, far too much in the chest department. I have plain blue eyes, not nearly the exotic dragon green that my brother has. So yes, I’m totally jealous of him; he’s beyond charismatic and can sweet talk pretty much anybody into absolutely ANYTHING.

It’s sad when your brother can bat his eyelashes better than the average lady and not think twice about doing so to get his way in an argument.

Jealous much?

Yes.

Exceedingly so.

During our growing years, it was less than easy for us to attend the Human’s educational programs. Our governments were on rocky terms at best, and with the controversy of Human laboratories taking Giants and Dragons in for experimental studies… Tensions were high. We barely managed to get approved for attending high school, and were almost dropped from the school when there was a flare up about policies regarding the safety of Humans among size-changing Giants were being fought. Throughout all of the controversies, abductions, and politicians hoping to curry favor from the fickle masses, I had dreams of going to school after we finished high school.

I wanted to be a mechanical engineer.

Yes, that’s right. A female that wants to be a mechanical engineer.

I had already been turned down from the courses in my high school due to both my gender and my race. That did not stop me from applying to courses the summer we graduated and trying to at least get a volunteer position at a local shop to learn more from people working in the field. Sadly, no matter how many places I tried to get some help people just refused to take a female seriously. Most of the major colleges and universities were not opening positions to Giants or Dragons, and even fewer were accepting females into any sort of courses except the Arts.

I…was forced to settle.

It was some sort of degree in the Arts or nothing at all for me, despite my best efforts. I majored in Design and Décor, and minored in Photography. I had the highest marks in my classes and graduated with full honors despite being an unwanted member of an unwanted race in my school.

My brother on the other hand went through law school, completed his licenses, and began practicing immediately.

That’s another reason I love and hate him; he managed to break through one of the more prestigious floodgates and attended a school that had a very strict No Giants policy. Not only did he attend, he graduated with top marks, honors, and had a full time position within a firm that started two days after he actually got his diploma.

Meanwhile I was sitting in my shitty little studio designing décor themes for a rich and stuck up couple that only chose me because I was “exotic” to them. And by studio, I mean one of those eight feet by ten baby barns one can purchase from a hardware store. I made certain to never meet a client anywhere but their own homes or a park, somewhere that they would never ask to see my work studio. As time went on and I established a healthy client base and network, I upgraded my studio… Just bought a few more baby barns and joined them together to make a bigger barn to suit my needs. I honestly could not afford to rent an actual office in the city, as Giants paid a premium in case of damage and I simply did not make enough steadily to afford that bill.

They day my brother knocked on the door of my studio in his three piece designer suit was the day I realized exactly how jealous I was of his success. And of how horrible it was to feel that jealousy loud and clear as it resonated through my core. He looked… so well put together. Crisp, handsome, and like the world had done nothing but pat him on the back.

I suppose the world had done a great deal of good to him; he had never lost a case yet, made more money in a single day than I made in a month, and had free time whenever he felt like it. His clients were very affluent, and for a year or two he was representing the wealthy in divorce cases… Always a lot of money to go around there.

He leaned against the doorway and looked in, as it was late summer and I always had the doors open unless it was too cold. I remember him telling me he was building a house about a half an hour’s walk away, and that he would like to build me a nicer studio…

It hurt, and I made sure he felt the pain through our twin bond.

A spasm crossed his face as his hand rested over his heart.

“Anna?”

“I don’t want a damn studio. Get out of my space and go build your stupid house!” I screamed it at him, throwing an empty garbage can in his direction just as soon as I could reach it.

He caught it, set it down, and nodded. The pain he felt cut my own heart all the more.

I knew he wasn't meaning to be mean, possessive, or even remotely a braggart. He wasn't tossing his money in the air to be a dick… He legitimately wanted to make me a nicer studio for my work.

I cried and closed the four doors of my studio, my home.

I did not have anywhere else to call home, I was too proud to do that. I could not possibly go home to my King and tell him of my failure in the wide world. Not after all the fighting he’d done to make sure I COULD get an education and a job. In the far corner from my desk was my foldaway bed, on the opposite wall I had a camp stove and sink. My dishes were from the local thrift store, so was most of my clothing that I’d had to alter in order to fit my very unique body type.

I’d hidden away from everyone that I lived in four baby barns that I had pieced together. Cefiro honestly believed that I had a home not too far from the studio, and I took great pains to keep him believing that.

How could I tell my successful, millionaire brother that I lived hoping I wouldn't be accused of squatting on land I did not own?

My pride wouldn't let me. We were too far apart in every aspect for me to just come out and tell him. I did not think there would ever be a way to come clean and admit failure, but Mother Nature has a funny way of doing just that.

One afternoon I was out with a client, taking photographs of her house with the purpose of renovations in mind when a siren blared.

A tornado siren.

You would think that my being and Elemental, I would have noticed the creation of the super cell, funnel cloud, and the drastic change in the air pressure sooner…

All I could think of was the fact the tornado was headed in the direction of my little home.

As soon as the tornado was gone…it was clear to see that a good portion of the neighborhood around my home in the woods was gone… Trees were everywhere, wood splinters, cars, glass shards, you name it, it was scattered everywhere. The small clearing where my tiny home had been was nothing but a pile of splintered rubble with trees thrown about willy-nilly.

I cried.

Cefiro was over in less than an hour, intent on seeing if we could salvage my studio… He wanted to help me fill out the paper work for the insurance company so that I could get a fresh start right away.

“Anna… you do have insurance on your business, right?” Black brows were furrowed over dragon green eyes.

“Insurance is overrated.” I mumbled, rubbing my face as I found a sweater buried under some wood that used to be a side wall.

His brows knit into a solid line as I continued to rummage through the rubble, trying to find anything that was mine that I could possibly save… I found my favorite pillow, hugging it to me despite the dust.

“We should go to your home and see the damage there, Anna. It’s important to get stuff like this looked after. We can dig through this later, okay?” His hand lightly rested on my shoulder.

I laughed a short, hard laugh.

“Anna?” He stiffened immediately.

“This was my home Ro. Not everybody makes enough money to buy or build their own. Now if you’ll please excuse me, I have to see if I can salvage anything else besides a sweater and my pillow. Thanks.” I rubbed my face and set to sifting through the remains. “You should go home and go call up one of your girls. She’ll take your mind off this crap. You’ll forget about everything outside your own pleasure.”

I could not bear to look at him and see the pity and shame written on his face. I could feel it welling up in his heart, anguish that he had never seen through the wall I carefully constructed to hide away my tiny, unhappy world.

Now he knew everything.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

Anna…

“Don’t say it. I don’t want to hear it.” Tears were running down my face as I made a pile of things that I could keep.

“Here…let me help.” Tears were slowly running down his cheeks, I could feel his sadness as he sorted through the remains of my broken home, pride, and workplace.

There was nothing I could do about it.

“When we are done, you are coming to stay with me. I won’t hear any arguments. You can’t stay here.” His tone was soft, not at all what I expected.

“I don’t want to leave here…” I whispered.

We worked in silence for a few hours, I truly did not have much left that wasn't battered, torn, or otherwise broken beyond repair. I’d not had much to begin with, honestly. Miraculously my external hard drive and my little jump drives had survived, although my laptop was a foregone conclusion. I gathered my few things into a salvaged bed sheet like the hobo I was, and carried my things in the direction of Ro's truck.

All I could think of as we drove to his home was how much I just should have accepted the glass of sugary pop my client offered me. My allergy would have kicked in immediately, and I would have died long before knowing the tornado was going to rip what little success I had away into nothing.

Seeing Ro's very, very nice home with a well-manicured lawn and garden…

I should have taken that glass of pop.

It would have been a softer feeling, bleeding internally while my organs ruptured, than the jealousy that ripped me in half.
Nothing I Can Do About It
Anna and Cefiro Grave are Elemental twin Giants. While Ro has been extremely successful in pretty much every way a person can imagine... Anna is a lot more shy, reserved, and unaccustomed to being forceful to get what she wants. She lives equally divided by love and jealousy for her brother, often wondering what could have been if she'd just been "more like him"...

All chars belong to me, Shadowknife7.
Loading...
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: sexual themes and ideologically sensitive material)
Courted 6


“Lady Amelia, my final request would be to see you smile.”

My heart almost stopped as the words registered. All I could manage at that moment was a small nod as I blushed from head to toe a brilliant scarlet. A soft tug on my hand gently brought me from his study out into the corridor, Keiko humming softly as she led me back to my chambers. By the time we had arrived there, I was more exhausted than I thought possible, and completely bewildered as to how I would ever find my way out of my bed chamber to anywhere else in the massive palace.

“Is lot to take in, da. Big, big palace, so many doors. Many gardens, lots of books, music room, many other things too, da. You learn soon. Took me long time.”

I nodded a little bit to her words. Keiko was already flitting about the room, tidying things that really didn't need straightening. Watching her, I was starting to see that she wasn't quite as relaxed as she verbally projected.

And that made me more nervous than I already was.

“Keiko? What is troubling you?”

“You worry much, da. Prince not bad as some say. Was good babe, raised to be good man. I worry because Council already have watchers out. They report back. I hear them while Prince talks to you, da. They think they sneak, no. Can hear them plain as day.” Keiko turned to look to me. “Breathe, da. You safe, they just look for Prince to fulfill the agreement. I watch over you, and others protect you. You see, da.” Her warm smile lit up once more. She played a little bit with the floral arrangement before coming to sit across with me. “You have question?”

I blushed a bit as I nodded. “I will be having dinner with him tonight?”

“Da.”

“Will I be retiring to his bed chamber for the night?” It was a difficult question to ask.

“Da, but is not just for… you know. Prince want to know you. In bed chamber, can talk and nobody there listening to report to Council. No one dare, or Prince punish them severely. Grounds for conspiracy to remove monarch charges…” She gave me a quirky smile.

“Oh…wow.” I blinked a bit. I really hadn’t thought of it that way.

“May ask question?”

“Yes, of course.”

“You virgin?”

I blushed brilliantly and got a bright laugh in response to my non-verbal answer.

“Oh! I see! Then maybe you have question, da? Male anatomy is different, da.” She gave me another smile, this one more understanding.

“Um… I know it is different…and I understand the very basic mechanics of what will happen… um… Father is a doctor… But…”

“You worry you no please him?”

She hit the nail right on the head there… I nodded, totally and completely embarrassed already.

“I tell you secret okay.” She crept closer until she was almost nose to nose with me. “Many a man like woman that no have the sex before. Is very, very special gift for woman to give man her first time. Sometimes first time very, very painful, maybe bleed little bit, but if male knows what is doing, can get over pain and be very good. Another secret? Giant male is very tender lover. Considers what woman need and want, not just pleases self, da.”

I swallowed hard as I listened to her words.  It was hard to believe that he would think of me at all in the midst of… Well, me doing my job to him. In the class I was raised in, it was ingrained that women pleased men and were to spread their legs and let the man do as he pleased whenever he felt the urge to, as often as he wanted it. To think that a man would take time to make it enjoyable for the woman…it was a hard pill to swallow and challenged the social norms of what I was raised in.

“Broke brain?”

“A little bit…” I managed to squeak out.

“You rest now. Maybe nap, then up and ready for dinner and conversation.”

She smiled, shooing me towards the bed like a mother hen. It was relieving to some degree, having this woman that understood the situation from both sides more or less. Somebody that could take charge and know how to guide me through most things in a world I truly had very little understanding about.
Courted Six
VERY short chapter, mostly consisting of dialogue. But rest assured it is simply building blocks for the next chapter. Which I hope is much longer.

All chars belong to me, Shadowknife7 
Loading...
Mature Content Filter is On
(Contains: violence/gore and ideologically sensitive material)
Keep It Secret


“Hush now, you mustn't tell your Father about any of this. This will be our secret, my Sylph.”

“Yes Mother.” I whispered softly, afraid that a passing elf might hear us from afar.

Father was gone away to work on the Dragon God’s temple over the mountains and across the far waters, many skilled Tree Elves having volunteered to rebuild his temple despite the long distance from home. Although Father was not with us…it still was not safe for me to wander the forest near the other Tree Elves.

They hated me.

My four year old mind did not understand exactly why; I only assumed it was because of my filthy skin and the color of my hair and eyes that set me apart. Mother loved me though… in her secret heart. She never beat me, although she no longer defended me when Father would beat me and let others beat me too if they stumbled over my form somewhere. Mother kept her heart and love locked away in a secret place deep within her fragile soul, unable to give it to me openly as I so wanted.

But this… this was something that we had to keep secret even more so than her love for me.
Mother would surely be punished with death for doing this…


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Mother walked for a very long time with me through unfamiliar trees, and I began to fear that perhaps she was going to leave me here… I did not understand the growth patterns of the moss, the soaring trees so far above our heads with their deep silver bark, nearly the same color as my skin. Although Mother had not covered my eyes, I was hopelessly lost for the direction of home. Still for another hour she walked, the sky bright between the emerald leaves. It was close to midday now and we had set out well before dawn, Mother carrying me for much of the journey. I felt I was a burden…

“We are nearly there now Sylph. Only a few minutes more and we will be on the Grounds.”

My pointed ears perked up as I listened to her. The trees had been growing seemingly bigger and bigger the further we went, the bark a startling shade of silver and some that were… a shade of yellow that I had no name for. Mother later told me they were the color of pure gold.

All at once it seemed we had crossed a barrier, and for the first time I felt as though I was safe and could breathe as much and as loudly as I wanted to. I looked around the gigantic clearing we had entered; the trees soaring so far above our heads that it seemed they touched the clouds themselves. I could see now that the leaves were bi-colored, emerald on one side and pure silver like their bark on the other, others being that brilliant gold and emerald. In the center there lay a huge home, looking so much more welcoming and opulent than the round little hut that Mother and I lived in with Father… It was clear to see that the entire area was deserted, but it did not feel eerie or haunted in any way.

It was peaceful, like the owner had simply stepped out for a long walk to the home of a friend in a faraway place.

Mother wasted no time in going to the enormous home, easily walking up the smooth wooden steps with me still in her arms. She did not knock, she did not so much as remove her shoes upon entering the place, humming softly as she walked with me straight down a long hall and off into a side door that led to a private stair case. Up two sets of stairs until we came out of another door, this one leading into a gigantic chamber that had two doors off of the opposite wall, a grand fire place, and plush woven rugs on the silver wood floor. At the far end of the room there was an enormous bed. Clearly it was the biggest I had ever seen, the frame richly carved into appearing as wooden leaves. The bedding was neatly made up, not even dust upon the surface.

“Mother?”

“Yes Sylph?”

“Whose home are we in?” My mother smiled.

“This is the house and land of Atiri Skyblade, the Wind God and a Silvertree Elf.”

My eyes nearly popped out from my head. “Will he not be angry with us for entering his home?” I whispered, startled more at the soft laugh my mother let out.

“Oh no, dear Sylph. Atiri is a very kind deity, and he would not smite us for trespassing. I used to live here, a handmaiden in his household. His home is always open to those that have served him, and I was fortunate to gain his favor in my service.” She smiled softly to me. “And you are my child, you are welcome in his house too.”

That notion warmed me inside…

I was welcome here.

Not yelled at, not beaten, not unworthy.

Welcome.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Several months Mother and I lived inside the grand home of Atiri Skyblade. The seasons slowly changed and a chill was in the air, the first frost decorating the Silvertrees and Goldtrees. Our days were spent in comfort and peace, Mother teaching me to play the harp over the long hours of quiet afternoons and evenings. Mother taught me endlessly about the forest, tree-singing, cooking, and many other joyful things. Every day we would keep an eye out for a cyclone, Mother hoping that Atiri would come home and meet us here. I had become excited in my heart to meet the owner of this wonderful house. I understood that we were not going to return to Father and the Tree Elves at all…

I had become happy.

I hoped that it would never end…


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Winter’s first cold breath saw the end of my happiness.

It had taken Father longer than he was pleased to search, but he had found Mother…

My harp was broken, Mother was beaten mercilessly until I could not see her swollen green eyes through the bruising, her right hand broken before he dragged her by her clothes away from the edge of the Grounds.

It was my fault… He told me so.

I had made him beat Mother for coming here…

I cried silently as I was dragged by my hair through the snow, my legs unable to stand due to the belting they’d received for my trespasses. Off in the distance, I saw a cyclone descending in the direction of the Ground.

Atiri was an hour too late, my chance of meeting the kind deity was gone.
Keep It Secret
Warning: Child and spousal abuse!

Sylph did not have a happy childhood... but for a few months she lived in what she felt was paradise in peace with her mother. Her mother grew up as a handmaiden in Atiri's household, but she was taken from it by her husband years later... But that is another story to tell some day. ;)

All characters belong to me, Shadowknife7.
Loading...
  • Mood: Rage
  • Listening to: TSO
  • Reading: My screen
  • Watching: The screen
  • Playing: ROLE!
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: London Fog
I'm about to drop several F-bombs in the text below. Read at your own damn risk.


There are some things that just stick in your head that are so firmly rooted in there that it's damn near impossible to think around them and move on with your life.

Tomorrow two people are officially being promoted into being supervisors at work. I have stated my opinion on this in previous journals... and it's not changing. Not now, probably not ever.

I am not jealous of them... I'm angry.

Very angry.

Very, very, very angry.

Close-to-rage-mode-angry.

And that is a large problem for me. 

I feel unappreciated in every possible way, overlooked, betrayed, and absolutely fucking ANGRY that this is happening. I feel like taking my uniforms and burning them publicly. I feel like quitting my fucking job because I can't stand the fact that I have worked my ass off for this company only to be PROMISED promotion and have it taken away from me FOR NO REASON AT ALL, and given to two others that do not understand the meaning of "hard work".

They told me, and I QUOTE, "Just keep up the level of work you are doing, we'll get you cross-trained in a couple of months, and then as soon as we post the positions, we want you to apply because we want to promote you". 

IS THAT NOT A PROMISE? 

I have NOT slacked off my level of work. I have not reduced the quality of my work. I have come in sick as a fucking dog, worked through pain and literally numbness from my back and neck, worked through other injuries, dealt with bullying, laziness, and every fucking kind of idiotic gossiping BULLSHIT you can imagine. I have consistently done nothing but IMPROVE my speed and skills.

AND THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING GET IN RETURN?!

So... 

I really don't know how to move beyond this. I don't know how I can go in every damn day and pretend like I'm not so angry I want to fucking blow the goddamn place up. (No, I wouldn't actually blow it up, but you get my point. I don't believe in destroying another person's property, no matter how angry they make me. That's just wrong.)

I am waiting to hear back from two places about potential jobs, so that is a small bright spark.

But in the mean time... I don't know how the fuck to get through this. 

I am just so fucking angry.
  • Mood: Questionable
  • Listening to: Scarf tutorial video
  • Reading: My screen
  • Watching: The screen
  • Playing: ROLE!
  • Eating: Cake
  • Drinking: London Fog
UPDATE!

I found out today that one of the supervisors is doing my employee review, as they are supposed to be done after a year of employment, and then again annually. So if I do well on my review, I can get $0.25 or $0.50 cent raise... I'm hoping for the latter, but anything will help. 

I also got a message from one of my former supervisors asking me if I was interested in some part time work with that company again... Turns out that the manager there is having her last day today, so it would actually be a safe place to work without getting screwed over again. I told her yes, as I could easily balance two jobs again. It would help me pay my bills and save up to pay off my student loan... Anything that can help, right?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fall is in the air, and my brain is trying to escape about a million or two thoughts that invade it at every waking moment, and more often than not every sleeping moment too.

I have been really, severely stressed over the last several months, and most of it boils down to money and work... so work, mostly. As that's where I get money from, they pay me obviously. My mom is coming down in September for a week's visit home and to relax and get her head cleared, ready for planning to move back home here. I have booked off that week, and my head is spinning with the whole, "OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT PAY FOR A WHOLE WEEK OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!" thing.

There is a lot of b.s. going on in my job, and it's bad enough that I have let my blood pressure rise to the point my doctor wants to follow up with me in a month to see if I have to go on medication or not... I'm 25 in October this year...  I also have been for a neck x-ray in the last two weeks to see if I have a pinched nerve in my neck causing the physical issues in my arms, hands, and shoulders. That injury dates back almost two years, but with all the stress it seems to be making things progressively worse. My doctor actually asked me if I was searching for a new job...

I am actively searching for a new job, and I have been on two interviews so far. I don't think I got the first one, as the interview was almost two weeks ago and I honestly didn't super hard for it... I didn't want a job that I am only POSSIBLY guaranteed 30 hours per week. I need a 40-44 hours per week with no fluctuations below 40 to make all of my bills and still afford groceries. The second interview that I had I tried VERY hard to own it and show them I WANT the job. For starters, it's full time work at 40 hours, benefits, and the pay starts at $13.25 per hour, which would more than cover my bills. Hell, I'd be able to buy groceries every month for certain and purchase furniture.

The next thing that is nagging the hell out of me is my lack of furniture... I do not own a couch, a bed frame, a decent dresser (as the stupid one I built from a store is a half-broken piece of junk I can't return), no spare bed or dresser. No loveseat, no entertainment stand, not even a table for crafting. I don't have end tables or a real nightstand. I came from a home that you had ALL of those things, as they are staples in a proper home. I understand that it took my family years to accrue them, but I get frustrated because for heaven's sake I just want to sit on a couch! Add to it the fact that my mom is coming in a month's time so I'll be sleeping on an air mattress for a week instead of having a bed for her so I can keep my own.

Yes it's selfish! But damn it I want to have a HOME, not just an apartment where you can sit on the one chair or plop on the carpet!

The next thing is that I have been passed up for the promotion I was PROMISED. The owner's daughter and another person are being cross-trained between dining room and kitchen for the promotion. We need two more supervisors, but they couldn't have picked worse people... Well, maybe one or two would be worse, but you get my point. The people that they picked are lazy, rude, take as many smoke breaks as they can get away with, have no customer service skills whatsoever, and take off early as much as humanly possible from work. So instead of them giving my the promotion that I was promised back in November 2013... nope. They have chosen two people that don't want to work.

So, that is just the surface of things that are bothering me.... I am working to run the stress out of my life. I have taken the initiative to get my health looked after for a change, as I'm usually the last person to go to a doctor for something if I can avoid it. Ask anybody that knows me. I am doing my best to stop the negative words coming out of my mouth... I don't want to be a fountain of negativity, and working there has warped me to be so. I used to be such a happy person once upon a time... I think it's time I regained that. I am in the process of getting rid of people and things out of my personal life that cause me nothing but stress.

I am stopping the worrying about furniture and the "finer" things in life. It will come when it comes and I can't do a damn thing to hasten the arrival. I am retaining my level of hard work at my job until such time as I get a new job. I'm not slacking off, not giving anybody the satisfaction of saying I'm a lazy person because I work circles around all the little buggers there on any given day. There is a reason that I am the full time opening staff; I can mind the dining room, serve customers, work the drive thru, bag for myself, perform coffee service, and do the kitchen prep all by myself in the best time compared to every other staff member. No I am not bragging, it's the truth. 

I am crafting daily now. I have bookmarked close to 100 patterns for more crafts, and I'm in the process of finishing up an afghan that I intend to sell. I have 23 more squares to make before I can sew them together, then make a border and it will be ready to sell. 

So... I'm sleepy and about to go ice a cake. Because I want cake.

deviantID

Shadowknife7
Anna Cefiro
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
Canada
A strange lass that wants nothing more than to be content and write.

Current Residence: Canada
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Medium
Print preference: Interesting ones
Favourite genre of music: Just about anything
Favourite photographer: *ZoranPhoto
Favourite style of art: Traditional pencil and paper
Operating System: Compaq
MP3 player of choice: One that works
Shell of choice: Seashells are pretty
Wallpaper of choice: Draconic
Skin of choice: My own
Favourite cartoon character: Remy Lebeau (Gambit)
Personal Quote: Muses do not let me sleep...
Interests
  • Mood: Rage
  • Listening to: TSO
  • Reading: My screen
  • Watching: The screen
  • Playing: ROLE!
  • Eating: Rice
  • Drinking: London Fog
I'm about to drop several F-bombs in the text below. Read at your own damn risk.


There are some things that just stick in your head that are so firmly rooted in there that it's damn near impossible to think around them and move on with your life.

Tomorrow two people are officially being promoted into being supervisors at work. I have stated my opinion on this in previous journals... and it's not changing. Not now, probably not ever.

I am not jealous of them... I'm angry.

Very angry.

Very, very, very angry.

Close-to-rage-mode-angry.

And that is a large problem for me. 

I feel unappreciated in every possible way, overlooked, betrayed, and absolutely fucking ANGRY that this is happening. I feel like taking my uniforms and burning them publicly. I feel like quitting my fucking job because I can't stand the fact that I have worked my ass off for this company only to be PROMISED promotion and have it taken away from me FOR NO REASON AT ALL, and given to two others that do not understand the meaning of "hard work".

They told me, and I QUOTE, "Just keep up the level of work you are doing, we'll get you cross-trained in a couple of months, and then as soon as we post the positions, we want you to apply because we want to promote you". 

IS THAT NOT A PROMISE? 

I have NOT slacked off my level of work. I have not reduced the quality of my work. I have come in sick as a fucking dog, worked through pain and literally numbness from my back and neck, worked through other injuries, dealt with bullying, laziness, and every fucking kind of idiotic gossiping BULLSHIT you can imagine. I have consistently done nothing but IMPROVE my speed and skills.

AND THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING GET IN RETURN?!

So... 

I really don't know how to move beyond this. I don't know how I can go in every damn day and pretend like I'm not so angry I want to fucking blow the goddamn place up. (No, I wouldn't actually blow it up, but you get my point. I don't believe in destroying another person's property, no matter how angry they make me. That's just wrong.)

I am waiting to hear back from two places about potential jobs, so that is a small bright spark.

But in the mean time... I don't know how the fuck to get through this. 

I am just so fucking angry.

AdCast - Ads from the Community

×

Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:iconjasminandmatt:
Jasminandmatt Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Professional Photographer
Thanks so much for the :+fav: :heart:
Reply
:iconshadowknife7:
Shadowknife7 Featured By Owner 4 days ago  Hobbyist Writer
You are most welcome! :D
Reply
:iconsapphirelink:
sapphirelink Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014
Happy Birthday, hope you have a great day :)
Reply
:iconshadowknife7:
Shadowknife7 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you very much! :D
Reply
:iconsapphirelink:
sapphirelink Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014
you're welcome
Reply
:iconlady-blue-rose:
Lady-Blue-Rose Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SADOOOOOO
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

You are loved by Boo!
Reply
:iconshadowknife7:
Shadowknife7 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*TACKLE HUGS HER!*

THANK YOU SO MUCH!
Reply
:iconlady-blue-rose:
Lady-Blue-Rose Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014
~hugs her~ Love chu
Reply
:iconshadowknife7:
Shadowknife7 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
*Hugs her* Love you
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconredangermeiser1994:
Redangermeiser1994 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Happy Birthday dear, not sure if you're the type to celebrate your own birthday, mainly because most times I myself just treat it as another day, my own birthday that is, so usually I'm not sure if others would like my saying happy birthday or not.

Bleh, that got a little silly, but still, happy B-day~
Reply
Add a Comment: