Listening to: TSO
Reading: My screen
Watching: The screen
Drinking: London Fog
I'm about to drop several F-bombs in the text below. Read at your own damn risk.
There are some things that just stick in your head that are so firmly rooted in there that it's damn near impossible to think around them and move on with your life.
Tomorrow two people are officially being promoted into being supervisors at work. I have stated my opinion on this in previous journals... and it's not changing. Not now, probably not ever.
I am not jealous of them... I'm angry.
Very, very, very angry.
And that is a large problem for me.
I feel unappreciated in every possible way, overlooked, betrayed, and absolutely fucking ANGRY that this is happening. I feel like taking my uniforms and burning them publicly. I feel like quitting my fucking job because I can't stand the fact that I have worked my ass off for this company only to be PROMISED promotion and have it taken away from me FOR NO REASON AT ALL, and given to two others that do not understand the meaning of "hard work".
They told me, and I QUOTE, "Just keep up the level of work you are doing, we'll get you cross-trained in a couple of months, and then as soon as we post the positions, we want you to apply because we want to promote you".
IS THAT NOT A PROMISE?
I have NOT slacked off my level of work. I have not reduced the quality of my work. I have come in sick as a fucking dog, worked through pain and literally numbness from my back and neck, worked through other injuries, dealt with bullying, laziness, and every fucking kind of idiotic gossiping BULLSHIT you can imagine. I have consistently done nothing but IMPROVE my speed and skills.
AND THIS IS WHAT I FUCKING GET IN RETURN?!
I really don't know how to move beyond this. I don't know how I can go in every damn day and pretend like I'm not so angry I want to fucking blow the goddamn place up. (No, I wouldn't actually blow it up, but you get my point. I don't believe in destroying another person's property, no matter how angry they make me. That's just wrong.)
I am waiting to hear back from two places about potential jobs, so that is a small bright spark.
But in the mean time... I don't know how the fuck to get through this.
I am just so fucking angry.