Listening to: Scarf tutorial video
Reading: My screen
Watching: The screen
Drinking: London Fog
I found out today that one of the supervisors is doing my employee review, as they are supposed to be done after a year of employment, and then again annually. So if I do well on my review, I can get $0.25 or $0.50 cent raise... I'm hoping for the latter, but anything will help.
I also got a message from one of my former supervisors asking me if I was interested in some part time work with that company again... Turns out that the manager there is having her last day today, so it would actually be a safe place to work without getting screwed over again. I told her yes, as I could easily balance two jobs again. It would help me pay my bills and save up to pay off my student loan... Anything that can help, right?
Fall is in the air, and my brain is trying to escape about a million or two thoughts that invade it at every waking moment, and more often than not every sleeping moment too.
I have been really, severely stressed over the last several months, and most of it boils down to money and work... so work, mostly. As that's where I get money from, they pay me obviously. My mom is coming down in September for a week's visit home and to relax and get her head cleared, ready for planning to move back home here. I have booked off that week, and my head is spinning with the whole, "OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT PAY FOR A WHOLE WEEK OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!" thing.
There is a lot of b.s. going on in my job, and it's bad enough that I have let my blood pressure rise to the point my doctor wants to follow up with me in a month to see if I have to go on medication or not... I'm 25 in October this year... I also have been for a neck x-ray in the last two weeks to see if I have a pinched nerve in my neck causing the physical issues in my arms, hands, and shoulders. That injury dates back almost two years, but with all the stress it seems to be making things progressively worse. My doctor actually asked me if I was searching for a new job...
I am actively searching for a new job, and I have been on two interviews so far. I don't think I got the first one, as the interview was almost two weeks ago and I honestly didn't super hard for it... I didn't want a job that I am only POSSIBLY guaranteed 30 hours per week. I need a 40-44 hours per week with no fluctuations below 40 to make all of my bills and still afford groceries. The second interview that I had I tried VERY hard to own it and show them I WANT the job. For starters, it's full time work at 40 hours, benefits, and the pay starts at $13.25 per hour, which would more than cover my bills. Hell, I'd be able to buy groceries every month for certain and purchase furniture.
The next thing that is nagging the hell out of me is my lack of furniture... I do not own a couch, a bed frame, a decent dresser (as the stupid one I built from a store is a half-broken piece of junk I can't return), no spare bed or dresser. No loveseat, no entertainment stand, not even a table for crafting. I don't have end tables or a real nightstand. I came from a home that you had ALL of those things, as they are staples in a proper home. I understand that it took my family years to accrue them, but I get frustrated because for heaven's sake I just want to sit on a couch! Add to it the fact that my mom is coming in a month's time so I'll be sleeping on an air mattress for a week instead of having a bed for her so I can keep my own.
Yes it's selfish! But damn it I want to have a HOME, not just an apartment where you can sit on the one chair or plop on the carpet!
The next thing is that I have been passed up for the promotion I was PROMISED. The owner's daughter and another person are being cross-trained between dining room and kitchen for the promotion. We need two more supervisors, but they couldn't have picked worse people... Well, maybe one or two would be worse, but you get my point. The people that they picked are lazy, rude, take as many smoke breaks as they can get away with, have no customer service skills whatsoever, and take off early as much as humanly possible from work. So instead of them giving my the promotion that I was promised back in November 2013... nope. They have chosen two people that don't want to work.
So, that is just the surface of things that are bothering me.... I am working to run the stress out of my life. I have taken the initiative to get my health looked after for a change, as I'm usually the last person to go to a doctor for something if I can avoid it. Ask anybody that knows me. I am doing my best to stop the negative words coming out of my mouth... I don't want to be a fountain of negativity, and working there has warped me to be so. I used to be such a happy person once upon a time... I think it's time I regained that. I am in the process of getting rid of people and things out of my personal life that cause me nothing but stress.
I am stopping the worrying about furniture and the "finer" things in life. It will come when it comes and I can't do a damn thing to hasten the arrival. I am retaining my level of hard work at my job until such time as I get a new job. I'm not slacking off, not giving anybody the satisfaction of saying I'm a lazy person because I work circles around all the little buggers there on any given day. There is a reason that I am the full time opening staff; I can mind the dining room, serve customers, work the drive thru, bag for myself, perform coffee service, and do the kitchen prep all by myself in the best time compared to every other staff member. No I am not bragging, it's the truth.
I am crafting daily now. I have bookmarked close to 100 patterns for more crafts, and I'm in the process of finishing up an afghan that I intend to sell. I have 23 more squares to make before I can sew them together, then make a border and it will be ready to sell.
So... I'm sleepy and about to go ice a cake. Because I want cake.